you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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