Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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