were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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