I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
