whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
