HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
