I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
