pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
