dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
