'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
