come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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