Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
