garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
