she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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