Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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