you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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