I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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