2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
