I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sorry about my life...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
