Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
