she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
