I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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