I must be too annoying 4 u.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
