Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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