Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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