I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
