her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Randomize
