I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
