No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Girls should come with a carfax report
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
