I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Non-Jews are for practice
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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