In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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