Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize