Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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