her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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