hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize