I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
