Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
