You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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