I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
