i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
