so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
