So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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