R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
