I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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