Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
