In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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