i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
