I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
