So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
