you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
