i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
