What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
