Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wannas sexs uuuuu
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I need a burrito and a hug.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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