And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
