Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize