Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
