Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
