Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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