The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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