I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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