so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
