Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
