fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
