after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize