My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
