TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Someone came in the potted fern
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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