i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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